A Little Unsteady

It was the honesty in which she spoke about having a bad day as she walked into class...the exhale, the tears...and the silence. I knew she needed her space, dance class and a simple understanding. Believe me, I knew it all too well...

Space, dance, and a simple understanding.
Space.
Dance.
And a simple understanding. 

Later on, we shared our stories of bad days...raw and honest...nothing pretty. Yes, dear child...I have bad days, too. She reminded me, not so gently...to get over it. We both shared a reticent smile and in that moment I realized that she got it, too.

No matter if you are 15 or 36, getting over it can be easy...or difficult. Time works like that. It may only take a moment, a day, or perhaps weeks or months. Find space for you. Do something you love. And surround yourself with people that understand and support you. Be like Alice and find yourself in Wonderland...she had the time of her life! Explore your curiosity and find your courage. Feel bewildered, confused and lost...go ahead, experience nonsense! Take as much time as you need.

Its how you come back that truly matters...so much more important than how you arrived.

Clair de Lune

Birthday wishes...

...As he worked on the room, and as it began slowly to take a shape, he realized that for many years, unknown to himself, he had had an image locked somewhere within him like a shamed secret, an image that was ostensibly of a place but which was actually of himself. So it was himself that he was attempting to define as he worked on his study. As he sanded the old boards for his bookcases, and saw the surface roughnesses disappear, the gray weathering flake away to the essential wood and finally to a rich purity of grain and texture - as he repaired his furniture and arranged it in the room, it was himself that he was slowly shaping, it was himself that he was putting into a kind of order, it was himself that he was making possible...
- John Williams, Stoner

With each new day you have the opportunity to learn things, create things and experience new life. Sometimes you are given chances and sometimes you choose. But each day you are given the means to shape the YOU that you truly are. May your next trip around the sun be full of many in-between moments; that your "kind of order" finds you, along with a peaceful center full of gratitude for your blessings, a tranquil awareness of self, beautiful insight, a sense of direction, and love, in its rawest form. Today is yours...enjoy the small pleasures of life...like donuts, coffee and a great book!

I saw love and it came to me

Love Is

...little ballerinas, concentration, hard work, cat pants, cat skirts, cats and dance living forever, valentine rings, socks, cards, chap-stick, and candles, Cheshire (the blue bike), The Batavus, Jean-Pierre, kitty kisses, bike friends, sunrise in the rear view mirror, hand written I LOVE YOU's, a thriving 3 year old Christmas Poinsettia, handmade leotards, pedal wrenches, getting lost, Life's Little Instruction Book, sharing ice cream with little friends, Festival, an apology, goofy dancers who love chocolate, goofy dancers with mustaches, the best sugar cookies ever, cupcakes, Valentine treats from dancers to Festival, handmade gifts from two real life princesses, thank you notes, bedtime snuggles, coffee dates with great friends, dinner dates with others, spontaneous group hugs offered by 3 year olds, returning ballerinas, many smiles found in a cup of free coffee, employees that always show up excited to work, a mom that always has my back, witnessing the smile of a child receiving a Valentine card, hugs, encouragement from my biggest supporter, a Kleenex to dry my weeping eyes, phone calls to check in, witnessing the courage of young dancers owning up to mistakes, Sunday morning ballet class, neighbors who care...and probably most of all...the love letters that have filled the dressing room mirror over the past two weeks. Not sure why it was started...but let's keep it going! Proves that love isn't made or shaped in known time or structure...it just is....

May you each seek out the ways in which your own life is enriched through the kind and gentle love offered by those around you...accept it with an open heart and give it back freely! Then spread it like wildfire! Find peace in your love...offer it without bounds, limitations, or parameters. And don't let others dull your sparkle. My wish is that you each experience honest love without regret.

Get over it...say I love you...more often than you do now, and more than you think is necessary.

Numbers and figures

There is a lot in a number...I've been a "counter" my entire life. Perhaps it is the nature of being a dancer. Counting is a way my brain finds order in things that are less than orderly. I count my steps while running. I count music with an inhale and exhale, synchronized to the beat. I count kids, mini cows, bites of food, and how many steps it takes to walk to my car door. I count in the shower. I count while I fill up for gas. I count to pass the time.

So there is no wonder why I know that 116 days ago I read an inspiring article about one mans adventure with a white dragon horse and karmic moonbeams.  A real life adventure about oranges, religion, an intellectual crisis, humanity, and the need to explore...a true exploration of the artistic, spiritual, mental and physical challenge offered on the saddle of the White Dragon Horse. The inspiration of the WDH had introduced itself during an incredible time of realization about my own journey and the immense truth behind a personal epiphany of being "all in"...little did I know the intensity behind that truth at the time. And quite honestly, I'm not even sure I understand its intensity now...

All of this only matters because today marks 116 days until I embark on my own incredible adventure full of karmic moonbeams...

We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time. T.S. Eliot

Destination: Riverton, Wyoming (my birth place)

Numbers and Figures:
1500 miles, give or take a few
30 or so days,
4 panniers,
1 tent, sleeping bag, and sleeping pad,
a billion stars to sleep under each night,
my 2 wheeled pal, Cheshire, the blue bike,
and me.

And a whole bunch of YOU providing support from afar!

Many of you have already offered support as I've prepared diligently over the past few months...bike classes, advice, training sessions, physicals, words of encouragement, short rides, long rides, gear up, gear down, new bike, lessons in tools and strength...the support from you has been appreciated more than words could ever express. And yes, my mental health is excellent, too! And even though none of you will be there in the physical sense when my journey commences, you have all given me reasons (about 485 of them) to take this journey. As I continue my countdown, and preparations, I look forward to sharing my in-between moments along the way.

I'm not doing this for a cause or any other reason in particular, except to REALLY experience the surface of a planet. A way to slow waaaaaaaaaaayyyyy down and experience myself, without interruption from the demands of life, as I currently know it. My only job will be to pedal, set up camp and feed myself. I'm sure there will be a lot of counting, too. Probably a few curse words (I won't count those).  An abundance of smiles. Many pictures. And more counting. Ultimately, just an adventure to experience extraordinary things that can only manifest through me on a bicycle...and go back to the start.